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In a perfect world I wouldn’t promise my future wife the moon. I’d give it to her before she even asked.

Quality & Contradiction

In a perfect world my future wife will have all the qualities I’ve posted  on this webpage even if those qualities are in direct contradiction of one another.


In a perfect world my future wife will not be surprised by my gracious generosity  in and outside of the “love nest”. She’ll be use to other gentlemen suitors doing gentlemanly things but will be into my gentlemen’s swag more then theirs.

Excuses Excuses!

In a perfect world my future wife won’t put our child in shirts that say cheeky smart alec comments that can be used as excuses for bad behavior and misplaced responsibility.

Other’s Wives

I get email submissions from people all over. Every Friday (if possible) I post what they want in a future wife in a perfect world. This is, Other’s Wives.

Email Submissions to: or click on the link to the side.


In a perfect world I would talk to my future wife like I talk to my bar buddies.

“Stick a cork in it douche-bag. Is it your time of the month!”

“Do the world a favor. Fuck off and die!”

“Are you crying? I didn’t know ugly retards had feelings.”

VIA: Steve Medeiros & Justin Pugh (Married Men)

Kama Sutra: Part II (Second Edition)

In a perfect world my future wife and I would make a sequel to the first Kama Sutra book. We’d spend our whole marriage perfecting the book. Editing it and reworking all of the…techniques.