Monthly Archives: November 2010

Smarts, Ass, Silence: The Male Utopian Trinity

In a perfect world my future wife would have the smarts of Michelle Obama, the sexy curves of Kim Kardashian and the submissive mindset of a 1950’s housewife.

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Bionic Women

In a perfect world my future wife would not be my wife but my:

B – onafide

I – dentured

T – echnical

C – opulating

&

H – ousing servent.  

Stepford my ass.

Other’s Wives

In a perfect world my future wife would be as lame as me and work at McDoanlds.

VIA: Anonymous

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In a perfect world my future wife would’nt know how to turn off “locate iphone” on her Mobile Me account so I won’t be able to track her ass.

VIA: John Roman

Bookstore

In a perfect world my future wife and I would have our first kiss in the biography section of a bookstore listening to each others iPods. The earphones would get tangled. While trying to unravel them I would reach for a book and our lips would touch. It would only last a few seconds. We wouldn’t talk about it. We wouldn’t be surprised by it, because it was supposed to happen.

Switch

In a perfect world my future wife will know how to switch it up.

Brooklyn

In a perfect world my future wife’s name would be something boyish but still sexy like Ryan, or Spencer, Erin or Brooklyn.

Brooklyn Decker

Inception

In a perfect world I would check my totem to see if my lovely, beautiful, caring future wife really existed, for fear that someone “inceptionized” my thoughts.

click on spinning totem