Monthly Archives: December 2010


In a perfect world my
future wife would look like her neck was hit with a pack of
nickels. But really it’s just hickeys I gave her on new years eve
when we were drunk.



American Dream

In a perfect world my future wife and I would be the portrait of the American Dream.

Mother of my Children

In a perfect world the choke necklace, whips, broomsticks, strap-ons, lube, safe words, cameras, amputated horse dicks, coke and gag balls I’d use with a regular whore would never enter the bedroom with my future wife. She’s the mother of my children for God’s Sake!

Hat Wear

In a perfect world my future wife will agree with me that
any type, ANY TYPE of fedora on ANYONE’S head is automatically
considered douche-bag hat attire.

Shop till you drop

In a perfect world I’ll be able to pick out my future wife’s clothes for her because she’ll look good in anything. But she’ll look better in nothing.

Ghetto Booty

In a perfect world when my future wife says she has a “ghetto booty” she will actually have a ghetto booty! She won’t have delusions of grander because some black guy complienmented her on her false eliteness.

This isn’t a ghetto booty.

THIS is a ghetto booty.


In a perfect world my future wife and I would be Macs.