Monthly Archives: January 2011


In a perfect world my future wife will be ambidextrous when it comes to what side of the bed to sleep on.


Other’s Wives

I get email submissions from people all over. Every Friday (if possible) I post what they want in a future wife in a perfect world. This is, Other’s Wives.

Email Submissions to: or click on the link to the side.


In a perfect world, my future wife will look like Giada De Laurentiis and bake me bomb ass cupcakes every friday afternoon, naked. And that is how our marriage will last, every friday is Naked Cupcake Day.


2 Tickets & 5 Mintues

In a perfect world my date will flake on me with no good explaination just 5 mintues before the show is about to begin. I’ll be on the lobby bench stuck with 2 tickets and an upside down smile. A women will be sitting next to me with the same face. We exchange stories and find we have the same night in common. Only difference is her date has the tickets.


I hand my future wife my bitch date’s ticket and ask her out on a date, that starts in just 5 mintues.

Good Hair

In a perfect world my future wife will have long, lush, golden, sweet smelling hair. Ya know, like Fabio.


In a perfect world my future wife won’t let herself go.

Note: The picture below is of a fat bitch letting herself go.

Barbie Broad

In a perfect world my future wife will be wrapped, packaged and sealed  just for me.  She’ll have an award-winning personality and some thick Atlanta thighs to match. She’ll cook and clean and have a detachable pussy, ya know, so she can do more womanly things without me distracting her and asking for sex. She’ll be have opinions but keep them to herself, even if they’re helpful ones. She’ll be gentle and loving with a Kung-Fu grip. Bitchy attitude not included.

Siblings & Clothes

In a perfect world my future wife won’t dress our twins in the same clothes. It’s lazy & will cause too much confusion during laundry folding time. But most importantly, we won’t do it for fear that they might look like these creepy bitches.

Creepy Bitches